Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Something I forgot to tell you.

The "Feud of the Doctors" happened the day before yesterday. I've lost track of time.

The day before yesterday is also when they decided they wanted to do a pulmonary scope / pulmonary wash. For those of you who may not come too quickly to the inherent cruelty of something called a pulmonary wash: the whole process began with a complex arrangement of video cameras, VCRs, and endoscopes.

Next step? They put COCAINE up my nose. Yup. Co-freaking-caine.

Then they stuck a fiber optic scope up my nose, down the back of my throat, straight past the vocal cords (did I mention I wasn't allowed to speak), and INTO MY FREAKING LUNGS. Whereupon they took some lovely videos and SPRAYED WATER INTO MY LUNGS while simultaneously vacuuming the water out.

"You may have a slight urge to cough." What an understatement! Slight urge? Actually, I had a slight urge to meet Ariel, the Little Mermaid! I've never watched myself drown before!

And so, I did what I always do when I'm in a high stress situation. I lowered my blood pressure and went to sleep.

3 comments:

Roobeedoo said...

Thinking of having a badge (button) made for you "Will sleep for drugs".

Broom said...

haha... "co-freaking-caine" ....

you sound better at least. keep it up guys.

Mel said...

Driving that train...
Keep the spirit up! I love the Feud of the Doctors story. I'm sure Ed had a lot of things he wish he'd said.