Sunday, March 25, 2007

Financial front...

Well kids, it looks like the paychecks have stopped. I got one last Friday for a little over $700 bucks insead of the usual. I guess turning in disability paperwork sorta triggers that kinda reaction. C'est la vie.

Friday, March 23, 2007

No worries

Some of you worry if I don't post something here every day or two. Well, most of the time I don't post simply because there's not much to report. Life goes on, boring as it is lately.

In response to some of the comments made recently..... Normal is always normal. What I'm going thru now is normal for now. I seriously doubt there will ever be a time when my future normal will ever be the same as my past normal. Until then, I'm enduring my present normal.

My memory / self image still has me hunting down spare wheels for my R1. My ego still tells me I'm a fast guy who will be doing trackdays this summer. My ego still tells me I could start teaching race school here. Then reality sets in and I have to consider selling the bike. Normal is different.

The whole motorcycle thing is kind of a big deal for me. For many years I was a racer. When I retired I became an ex-racer, but I could still teach and I was still a motorcyclist. I've never wanted to be one of those guys whose life was all in the past. I always wanted to be a guy who was still "doing it", whatever it was. (I've always thought that guys who said "I used to" were losers in some small way.) Now I'm faced with the possibility that I'll have to become an ex-motorcyclist. Now I might have to say "I used to". That doesn't sit well with me.

All in all, I know I'm getting better physically. I still have considerable weakness in my arms and legs. Hell, I can barely climb onto a bench - a whopping 20 inch rise. My weight is going back up. Obviously I'm able to eat better nowdays. I've gained about 15# since the surgery. Heck, maybe that's why I can't get up on a bench...... too much to lift. Eating from boredom is the cause / curse. I need to find things to occupy my head and hands.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Another doctor visit.

The surgical doc gave me a clean bill of health today. I'm apparently healing fairly normally. He wants me to keep from doing any situps (including getting out of bed without assistance) and I'm not allowed to lift more than 10#. I think he's being overcautious, but I'll behave.

On the other hand, my oncologist declared me disabled for work indefinitely due to chemo and the reactions thereto. I wonder how the office is going to take it. I'll keep you posted.

Monday, March 19, 2007


Technically, I'm getting better. I now have enough energy to do light duty things for almost an hour without wanting to pass out and die. I can even stay awake for 16 straight hours. All these are an improvement. Can I function at work? Hell no. The thalidomide makes me brainless without the benefit of the steroid lift. The steroids are being prohibited because they inhibit healing and hide problems. (Which is why I had to have surgery.)

Ed made a CD with all the pics he's taken of me since the surgery. The thirty stitch belly is pretty interesting, but I won't share it with you. I heard enough whining about the overhead shot "Christmas card" pics. Somehow I doubt you want to see several inches of staples, blood, and bruises.

In any case, elimination is returning to normal. It's something I can control and it's relatively painless nowdays. All in all, surgery was a success.

Now my oncologist wants to get my numbers back in the "remission" column so we can harvest stem cells, then kill my bone marrow and transplant my stem cells back.

THAT is gonna be hell.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Two docs, one day.

I saw my surgeon and my oncologist today.

Surgeon - Healing seems to be quite normal and progressing well. He's taking me off antibiotics. I see him again on the 20th. Staples were removed and now I'm just taped together.

He explained that he removed about 9-10 inches of my intestine. It was attached to the surrounding tissue so severely that he described "I had to carve it out of there". Apparently he thought it was cancerous, but a biopsy showed it to be benign.

Oncologist - Not good news. I'm going back on chemo because my protein numbers are back up BIG TIME. He wants to get a reading and an improvement ASAP so that we can do a harvest and a transplant ASAP.

Basically, I'm going to have to go on long term disability. Between surgical recovery and the chemo/transplant, I won't be able to work a day until about September or longer. (Purely a guestimate on my part.)

I'll keep you posted on how that goes.