It's really interesting what a drastic change in body chemistry can do. Sometimes I find myself wandering thru what I normally percieve as reality in an semi-unreal state. It's nothing too drastic, merely a shift in vision, hearing and 6th sense perception. I can be involved in conversations that I'm fully "in gear" with, and yet the conversation is more real than the person I'm talking to..... It's as if I'm being spoken to from a movie or another place in time..... It's real, but I don't get the sense that the person is on the same plane as I..... Get it?
I know the shift is coming from me... from the chemo and all the other wierd stuff I put in my mouth every 6 hours. Certainly I'm not going schitzo and beginning to think the world is wrong and I'm right. It's just interesting to watch..... I'm using my own brain as a behavioral observatory. Reality does shift.
Chemo seems to be eliminating much of the pain. I've been off morphine for a couple of days and am managing it all with occasional acetamenophen. It's not hard right now. Otherwise, I'm just getting used to the biological changes.... they're minor, and in the grand scheme of things, relatively unimportant. Problems with my stomach and intestines, altered vision, altered hearing, strange smells, high blood pressure at times, nearly absent sex drive, continued loss of weight.
Some things get better, some things just change.
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1 comment:
Sounds a bit like an acid trip.... not that I would know anything about that. :o
-Gary
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