Sleep. It's an amazing thing. See, I haven't been sleeping for several days because of the Predisone steroids they have me on. My brain runs 27 hours a day and it tries to make my body do things it's too tired to do, so I've been completely worn out for the last week.
Add that little problem to the holiday madness of friendly visits/parties/dinners/drinking, and I was one TIRED puppy. (Yes, I sorta broke chemo policy on New Year's and had a few Mojitos at home.)
Regardless, the exhaustion created extra stress, which created exhaustion, which stressed me, etc., etc., etc. The circle went 'round and spun faster every day.
And then there was last night. I took an Ambien (Zolpidem) sleeping pill. I've never been fond of them because most of them give me a hangover. Let me tell you, Ambien seems wonderful. I slept well and completely last night. Yes, I still had to get up 4 times to relieve myself, but outside of a little staggering, there was no problem with waking for bodily functions.
But I do know that I woke up this morning with a decent attitude and a brighter outlook on my life.
From a practical standpoint, I'm still aware that I'm figuratively stuck in a New York City high-rise tenement that's on fire. I can see and smell the smoke, but my front door isn't hot yet and the window seems clear. (I just have to hope the ladder trucks can reach the window.)
However, since my tenement door isn't hot yet, life goes on. I can make lunch, watch the goings-on outside my little flat, and try to experience the show. It's much easier now that I've slept well.
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