Separation anxiety

I was talking to the daughter of a cancer patient a few days ago and we discussed an interesting phenomenon.

Long term care patients sometimes suffer separation anxiety when they're finished with treatments. Allow me to explain:

Once your life turns toward "the dark side", you become fully involved in a process that treats and/or cures your condition. It's a long undertaking and people become fully involved. This isn't like catching a cold. Thus, your whole life begins to revolve around cancer, treatments, doctors, schedules, trips, visits, procedures, etc., etc., etc.

You're no longer a mom, dad, lover, motorcyclist, geek, guru, or whatever. You're a full time cancer patient. It's literally your life and it becomes your lifestyle. And so, as a normal humanoid, you become involved with the lifestyle. You meet people in the lifestyle. You learn to like some of these people. Certainly you get used to the activity and the "doing".

But then one day the people at the facility say, "Congratulations! You're DONE! You're out of here."

Some part of us says, "YIPEE!" The other part of us says, "WTF am I gonna do now?"

It's like losing a job or being jilted by a not-so-perfect lover. Pleasure mixed with pain. Relief mixed with questions about tomorrow.

After all, if I'm out of here, what will I do tomorrow? When and how will I see my friends? How will I have (what little) outside communication with lively people? Why do I feel the way I feel?

Separation anxiety. That's what you feel. You're being cut off from the world you know and now you have to build a new world.

I was told this morning that I'm out of here. I'm done. "Have a nice day." "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out." It made me feel strange.

Of course, they were slightly wrong. People were reading that I was being released from the "auto" team and they were assuming I wasn't coming back. Of course, they didn't realize I'd be back pronto for a mini-allo....... thus assuaging my anxieties.

On the other hand, I get a couple of weeks vacation before the allo process begins. I'll try to put them to good use. Maybe I'll work on a little muscle tone.

Blessing? Curse? Just another "thing to ponder"? I'll let you know.