Two days off the steroids. Six more to go before I can get back on them. I feel like a junkie needing a fix. Bone pain returns in spades, the buzz from the Thalidomide is perpetual. My mind wanders and suddenly I wake up to lucidity for a few moments and feel human again. Brief flashes of my former self. Oddly, that guy feels lonely.
Imagine sticking an old 9 volt battery on your tongue.... all over your body..... 24 hours a day.... and being drunk..... and in a bar fight you're losing..... and this is as good as it gets. It's what I've come to expect every single day and every night.
I dunno if I'm depressed..... but I'm certainly exhausted. I guess I'll know I'm depressed when my brain starts to turn off.
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