The ride is leveling off. Still not feeling "fresh", but it's a feeling I'm getting used to. Pain is tolerable. Discomfort is becoming acceptable.
I'm starting to realize that I'm getting used to the condition, just as I have gotten used to every permanent change in my body over the years. Accidents and injuries have changed my anatomy since high school, and a person just learns to deal with joints that don't work right or muscles that aren't attached any more. Now I'm just getting used a different kind of pain and altered behavior. Three months sick with only two months of chemo and I'm operating pretty much like a functional drunk. You know, one of those guys who drinks constantly, but who functions "normally" because you've never seen him "abnormal" (e.g. sober).
The roller coaster isn't scary any more. In fact, it's rather familiar. One might say boring and tedious. I don't look forward to any of it, but when it's there, it's there. So be it. (It doesn't mean I like it. It just means I know it well.)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment