Near CR

Euphemisms. Funny little things. Once upon a time, euphemisms were only used to make unpleasant terms more palatable. Now they're used to keep people from thinking or expecting too much. They seem to be created by people who really don't want to commit themselves.....to be blunt.....to be direct and well defined. I think they're the spawn of marketing think-tanks and legal departments.

"Let's not tell them the product is 'good', because 'good' is subjective. Let's tell them it's 'better' because 'better' can be proved in court."

This week's euphemism? "Near CR", or "near complete response". What the hell does that mean? Technically, it seems to mean that a patient's drugs have been nearly as effective as one might hope they could be. If we boil that down a bit, it means the patient's disease has been severely minimized, or the patient is "in remission".

But of course, we can't say "in remission" because patients apparently jump to the conclusion that they've been cured.

REMISSION: From the American Heritage New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition:

A period in the course of a disease when symptoms become less severe.

Note: The term remission is often used in speaking of sufferers from leukemia or other cancers whose symptoms lessen or disappear. In such a case, the disease is said to be “in remission.” The period of remission may last only briefly or may extend over several months or years.

Ok, so what's this really all about? I saw the doctor today. He looked at my blood numbers and announced I was in "near CR". The cancer can still be found, but the numbers are so low as to be unquantifiable.

I'm in remission because the cancer has nearly completely responded to the drugs.

Crap, now I'm gonna have to start paying attention to my health....... Lose some weight, watch my cholesterol and blood pressure, get some exercise. Live again.