The nurse just left. He gave me my infusion kit and full instructions to my new girlfriend, Wheezy. Basically she's a battery operated infusion pump in a backpack. Yup, a backpack. Inside the backpack is the hydration solution, Wheezy, and some basic service meds.
Why do I call her Wheezy? Because the pump makes an electric motor/gear noise that sounds like a wheeze. The wheeze lasts just about a second, the time between wheezes is about two seconds.
I have to date Wheezy seven hours every day until they tell me to stop dating her. Why do I feel like I'm trapped in an arranged marriage?
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