There's nothing much to report this weekend folks.
Well, there's this weight issue. It's time for me to go on a diet. I've actually gained ~40# since the week after surgery. That was 139# for a low and now I'm hovering around 180. The actual number itself isn't wrong, but with my newly shaped 'chemo corpus', my old 180-190 is very unattractive. And so, it's time to turn around my recent habit of eating like a teen. I gotta get rid of the blubber.
In other news this evening: I still haven't been contacted about getting my chest port installed. I've followed up and expect to hear something early next week. Will advise.
Finally, I want to discuss the old roller coaster. It still exists. The climb and the fall are more reminiscent of a kiddie ride, but the ups and downs still concern me.
Even without the extremes of the past, I find myself wanting to go down when I'm actually going up, and up when I'm going down.
Dexamethasone (Dex) does things FOR me. I like lots of the effects. On the other hand, Dex does things TO me. I don't like those effects. Being off Dex is the literal inverse of being on Dex. The FOR becomes TO and the TO becomes FOR. And so, I constantly find myself wanting to find a space between where UP starts and DOWN ends.
My current chemo schedule allows me to manage my life a bit better. I take Dex on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. I'm off Dex on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.
Tuesday and Friday are my good days. One starts the downhill and the other starts the uphill. I feel like crap on Wednesday. Thursday is just sorta slow. Friday is terrific during the day, but by evening I'm so wired I usually stay up and awake until sometime Saturday (maybe Saturday night). Yeah, I've been doing 40 hour days almost every weekend for a while. (Like tonight.)
Sunday? I'm tired but flying. I get stuff done on Sundays. Mondays are a riot.
Don't get me wrong. These effects aren't nearly what they were 6-9 months ago when I was megadosing. But they still exist. They still change me. They still make me crazy. They still burden Ed.
Anyway, enough whining. Good night to you. I'm gonna go downstairs and work on a project.
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This blog is written by and about a guy with an incurable form of cancer. My purpose here isn't to say "woe is me", but to give insight about my thoughts, perspectives, and experiences throughout this adventure. My name is Andre. My partner's name is Ed. I intend to publish on a pretty regular basis here, but Ed might occasionally pop in with his thoughts too.
1 comment:
I don't know what to say, I'm just glad you are still able to manage. I know it is cliche but, keep on keepin' on. See, I told you I didn't know what to say.
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